How to deal with the loss of a parent

Devotee: Today it is two years since my father died. He died of cancer. It was a very difficult time. I am wondering why…

Guru: All people who die, die with some problem. Someone rarely dies without any problem. Like a fruit that ripens on a tree, it drops to the ground. We are all ripening in different ways. Sometimes we get a grub that penetrates the fruit and then prematurely or otherwise, the fruit falls from the tree.

All of these things are methods for the person to pay their karma.

We are all going to pay our karma one way or another. Karma is the cause and effect that was set in motion for many cycles of births and deaths. He has fulfilled his karma. Don’t relive in your life that experience that you had together in the time of his suffering because that means you are not allowing him to go. You are always pulling him towards you.

Have within yourself and your well-being the thought, “Okay, you have now paid your penalty, like all of us will have to do. Go. Go and live on with my love.” That is how you must associate yourself with your father.

In our lives, we are all going to experience one or two members of our family whom we are going to lose; don’t just remember their suffering but remember the good things that you knew. Remember the things that brought you together when you were a child. 

You’ve grown up and you have had that interaction and that is what I want you to do. “Go on. Thank you for my birth even if you had other ideas. Thank you for all you did for me at an early age. And now you have to live on with my love. Go on.”

Have the courage inside you to say “Right, that is over.” On the anniversary of his birthday, not his death, go to a church or a temple or place and put some flowers and say, “Thank you, this is in remembrance of you. May God grant you peace so you live on in the grace of God.” That is what I would ask you to do.